|
 “I
never gossip!” How many times has this been said? Getting the scoop, the
dirt, or the latest is one of America’s favorite pastimes. We even have
gossip columns in newspapers and magazines. Much of television is
nothing more than celebrity gossip shows. What is gossip? Encarta’s
definition of gossip is “conversation about personal matters:
conversation about the personal details of other people’s lives, whether
rumor or fact, especially when malicious.” It is considered a nonviolent
social weapon, even though the emotional scars inflicted often last a
lifetime.
Gossip often contains some truth surrounded by our own opinions or
version of the truth. For instance, it might be true that “Uncle Bob had
a car wreck,” but what if you were to add “He must have been drinking
again!” What is the purpose of your conversation? Another way to
determine if something is gossip is to ask yourself if you would tell
this to the person the “conversation” is about.
Gossip can be used to manipulate people and situations. It is often used
as revenge and can do a lot of damage, eroding trust and encouraging
divisiveness. Nobody wants to be the topic of gossip. Gossip can damage
relationships permanently as people often take sides as a rumor spreads,
without any way to determine what is factual and what isn’t. Hurt
feelings and reputations of those talked about may never be repaired.
How many relationships are broken when a person finds out what others
who are supposed to be their friends have said behind their backs?
Gossip tends to change its size and shape as it travels from mouth to
mouth. Have you ever played the telephone game? The first person
whispers something into their neighbor’s ear and then it goes down the
line to the last person. “I baked an apple pie.” turns into “I bet she
tells a lie.” One of the worst aspects of gossip is that once it is
said, it cannot be taken back. Gossip can take on a life all its own,
spreading like a wildfire. Proverbs 11:13 says “A gossip betrays a
confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” NIT
What about just listening to gossip? Is it as bad as telling the gossip
to others? Proverbs 17:4 says, "A wicked man listens to evil lips; a
liar pays attention to a malicious tongue." Why do we listen? Does
anything positive come from listening or passing on gossip? In 1
Corinthians 13:7 it says love always protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres. True love is outgoing concern for others and
is positive in nature. We see in Hebrews 3:13 “But encourage one another
daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be
hardened by sin's deceitfulness.”
What should you do if you find yourself the victim of gossip? It would
be easy to strike back at the person or persons who spread the rumors,
if you can find out who it was. But it is better to forgive the person,
remembering that forgiving and trusting them again are two separate
issues. Matthew 6:14 says “For if you forgive men when they sin against
you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
So the next time you are tempted to listen or tell the latest to
someone, ask yourself if you would tell the same thing to the person you
are speaking about. If you will do this, you will earn the respect of
others as they learn they can trust you; and you might save a
friendship. Remember, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say
anything at all! |
